Momentum

If get bored and/or are busy- no oblig. to read through following (thinking sort of when house guests are forced to watch hosts' family slideshows):

Momentum by remembrance:
My Great Aunt Bessie passed away yesterday morning- basically from years of smoking- she died from emphysema.
She did make it to 98 - with all her faculties- living in her apartment, strong to the end and drinking a few strong ones everyday. 98, but she didn't want to leave the table yet- she was feisty and still hungry for more. I don't know if I want to be aware when near leaving- subject always reminds me of a great man I knew who not only was aware on his hospice death bed (f'n cancer)- but refused meds so that he "could experience death itself." His wife and a Native American shaman held his hand- the shaman helped guide him over to the "other side"- she said he was a little resistant in his last moments here- but finally crossed over peacefully. I don't do drugs (yes- it's true)- however, don't know how brave I'll be if aware when near the end. I don't know what to believe- irt the 'other side' and all- I'm cynical, but open- I wish open more fanatically so- less resistance and all- I'm surely not an atheist - I do not believe it is delusional to believe all is possible- (doubt sucks- I guess [ I'd bring up the whole recently illuminated deal with Mother Teresa- amazing human being- but too much here]).
So Bessie was the last surviving of 5 siblings- and with her gone, it seems to me like the end of an era- none of my great aunts and uncles and grandparents are here anymore. They did all live pretty long lives- though Bessie almost didn't make it past 5 or 6 years old; the story goes that one day my grandfather, 4 years her elder, was watching her and didn't do such a good job of it- as she ended up wandering off into a bullpen. Her mother came running frantically in search of Bessie, and found her behind the iron bars of the pen which Bessie had managed to squeeze through. Without pause, my great grandmother in a miraculous feat of strength, with her bare hands bent the bars apart- rescuing my great aunt. Great Grandma (I never met her and need to ask my dad what her first name was) was a tiny woman- well under 5ft tall- so how did she manage to bend those bars - bars which even a large man could not have bent? Love - mom-entum and adrenaline- I guess.

A link to past momentum:
Insect